I cannot seem to function,
I cannot seem to breathe,
I cannot seem to hold on,
I cannot seem to leave,
I cannot seem to go on,
I cannot seem to feel,
I cannot seem to replace,
I cannot seem to seethe,
I cannot seem to hate this,
I cannot seem to die,
I cannot seem to forgive,
I cannot seem to guess why,
I cannot seem to still live,
I cannot seem to find my life

I sometimes wonder why it is exactly I wake up alone every morning. Did I do something terrible? Is karma, or some god, or some entity seeing fit to let me be miserable? No one to comfort me? I don't know. At times, I wish I didn't care. Still, I care. Some people might think me "co-dependent," because they don't really know me. It's not that I couldn't live without someone... it's simply that I want someone, and understand that ultimately, I need someone. Perhaps I'm too picky? Too analytical? Too much of this, not enough of that... I don't know, is simply the answer. I will admit to not being gorgeous, or even particularly handsome, but I'm far from ugly, I'm fit, I'm sometimes witty, if a bit too often sardonic. Maybe it's because I don't settle for your typical american female. It's not that they're unattractive physically.. but most of them don't have the emotional, artistic, spiritual, and intellectual content I'm looking for. Too stuck in Cosmo, or The Real World for me to even stomach conversation with them. What's just as frustrating, is coming right on the cusp of what I'm looking for, only to find it slipping away somehow, or never really being close enough to grasp anyway.

Love in short bursts isn't really love. It's just comfort.

-Jason